


Poesy

by Original_the_2nd



Category: Original Work
Genre: 2016 US Presidential Election, Autobiography, Diary/Journal, High School, Overcoming Fear, Rating May Change, That's life, Warnings May Change, but also doesn't, depends on POV, lots might change, sucks, true story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9513023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Original_the_2nd/pseuds/Original_the_2nd
Summary: Some thoughts and journal entries. Titled after my favorite word. It's poetry in verb form. <3I'm starting this while sleep deprived so forgive the screw ups plsRated for cursing because I'm mature as shit(I'm not)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive the weirdness in this first entry I am sleep deprived.

I feel like I should start at something meaningful. But all I'm doing now is lying in bed staring at an open window pretending I can sleep. This isn't my bed. This is Sophie's bed. I don't remember how long ago she left. It was supposed to be for a week. It's been much longer. We don't know if she's coming back. And if she is she probably won't stay long. I know she should move out. She's 21. I just wish it wasn't spurred on because she and dad gave up on having a healthy father-daughter relationship. I've spent my entire life quiet. I'm the youngest, the weakest, the one who never learned to fight back. So I sit out on fights. I watch. It's the most frustrating thing because I can see what both of them want and need, I can see the solution, the compromise that will make everyone happy, but I'm not involved. I'm not allowed to speak. And if I do no one listens. It's like knowing the answer to a question but the teacher calls on someone else. You sit there, unable to speak, watching the other kid pained at the embarrassment of not knowing and it hurts. If only you could speak. Only this time my life's getting fucked up to.   
Tomorrow is Monday. Back to school after midterms. I can't fail anymore. I'm smart enough. It's just the homework. The home part in particular. Yay for destroying my future! :D  
No but seriously. I can't screw this up. It's my last year of high school. My last chance for.... I don't know. Whatever the fuck it is people keep telling me I need. Funny. People keep telling me what I need. Not asking. The life of a teenager. But we all have/will/do go through it.  
I want to say something profound that'll keep people interested. But I shouldn't tailor my tale to be pleasing to readers. This is not a romance, I'm not really into that stuff. There won't be worries of prom dresses or dates, no"he said, she said," no longing after tall dark and handsome, no friend drama (ya need friends for that :D..... :|..... :(....), no partying or hardcore drugs, I don't really know what this'll be.   
Whatever it is I should wrap it up and try to sleep.   
Oh one more thing.   
I won't be all sarcastic, ironic, or light hearted. I'm not a drama queen but I'm not gunna act like shit is no big deal. I'm not gunna be modest and humble and try to act like I'm being silly for thinking or feeling some way.   
If you don't like this or what I think and feel good for you. But no hate. You can feel hate all you want but keep it to yourself.   
I will be honest. If I feel depressed I'll write like a downer. If I feel happy I'll write cheery. I don't know if I'm telling you or me. I don't mean to sound rude but I try and edit my mood and tone enough for the people who surround me. I write to be honest and go through my experiences without holding myself back. I always write as if I'm writing to someone but I've never had someone read it before. I'm instinctually nervous about what people will think but I can't let that rule me. I do that enough in the rest of my life.   
Ugg okay this is getting too long. I'm gunna listen to music and sleep and wake up late and be late for school. Goodnight world. Sweet dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm starting a website. Well, my friend and I are. After the election I became incredibly politically aware. I learned so much, not just about our elections or media, but about the world in general. The world is terrifying. I became so scared. I felt so helpless.   
Then I got fed up with being scared. I've been scared all my life. I'm done. I'm doing something. The website will be a journalism site. Each article will start with a list of bare bone facts. Then the journalists interpretation of what the facts mean, and ending with a list of everything the reader can do to get involved. No matter how small the action. We the people are not powerless. The most dangerous thing in politics right now is that the public feels as though government is separate from the people it governs. The government is supposed to serve the people, if we don't get involved of course our system will fail. We the people are not powerless, so we need to start acting like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Rights Reserved (C) 2017


	3. Funny Man

I'm friends with a comedian.   
He's not supper famous but he does shows in NYC and stars in a comedy sitcom.   
I've seen his shows, they're really funny. 

It's strange though,   
Whenever I'm around him,  
Whenever a conversation ends,  
I never feel much like smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Rights Reserved (C) 2017


	4. other plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well......

Well...  
I just found out the boy I've been pinning over all year,  
The one who gave me his number and said he wanted to go to the next women's march with me,  
He has a girlfriend.  
Oh,  
And he's in a gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (C)2017 All Rights Reserved


	5. Chapter 5

I just had to give myself a two minute inspiration speech in my head so i could muster the motivation to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. 

 

I think I'm at a low point with my depression again. The scary part is, it's because of facts I found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (C) 2017 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


	6. relationships and junk

I signed up for a dating site. I'm 18. I don't want to be in a relationship. But all my family members are gone except for my dad. And when he gets back from the hospital i have to take care of him. I barely leave my bed I'm so depressed. My dad had to borrow money from me to pay rent. I cry until I'm so tired i sleep. I sleep until i wake up, and then i cry. Etc.  
Last week i got better though. I went to school. Still feel like shit though. The dating website is to find a rich partner. I'm not looking for romance, i don't feel a need for it. But i feel like i need to do this. I'm barely able to survive high school i don't know if i can take college. No one can afford to take care of me if i take a year break. I don't feel a need for a sexual relationship. But I'm willing to give myself to someone if I'm not alone anymore. Because i don't want to be strong anymore. I want to let someone take care of me for once. I want to not be afraid of the people around me, like my family. I want to be able to hug someone, tell them the truth instead of protecting them from it, and feel like everything will be okay now that I'm with them. I'm just so tired. And i feel like i have to give up myself to survive.   
I hate this.


	7. Chapter 7

Well.... I just reread the last chapter and that was reeeaaaaalllly depressing. It's been a while and I'm not in school and things are fine.   
They weren't for a while.  
It actually got to the point where we went days without eating.  
We still don't have a normal steady income but we're okay for now.  
Really it's all because strangers and old friends have been charitable.  
People can be really nice.  
I'm realizing that's not just fairy tail.  
No 'one' will swoop in and solve your prolems  
But 'people' will actually cushion your fall so you can get back up.  
It's nice to know that.  
I'll write all this in my autobiography.  
If I can do it right it'll be a good read, it certainly has all the makings of a good story  
I just need to be skilled enough as a writer  
Aaaand not get bored after one day of writing like all my other stories....   
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
What can I say? I'm too lazy to translate all my ideas into words when they already make sense in my head.  
(btw I rarely think in words I didn't realize it was abnormal till I told my friend)

Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> All Rights Reserved (C) 2017  
> Also from 1999 to forever cuz It's my life


End file.
